


i was in the middle (before i knew i had begun)

by Dontfloatthe100



Category: The Pinkertons (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Kid Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 14:59:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13954068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dontfloatthe100/pseuds/Dontfloatthe100
Summary: Kate takes Freddy home with her after the case is finished.(Of course she does, she has a bad habit of taking in inexperienced, needy strays. She really needs to work on that.)





	i was in the middle (before i knew i had begun)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay first of all, sorry for not posting in a while. It's been really difficult to finish anything for some reason and school has been really rough recently. Second of all, I was robbed of this and this show is cancelled so I can do what I want lol. Anyways enjoy!
> 
> Best,  
> Em

Kate takes Freddy home with her after the case is finished.  
  
(Of course she does, she has a bad habit of taking in inexperienced, needy strays. She really needs to work on that.)  
  
But Freddy is new. He's a child, a child who's experienced more trauma than he ever should've, who will live with an action, however justifiable, for the rest of his life.  
  
Kate thinks she can understand that.   
  
So she takes off her disguise and explains who she is and offers him a home, and mercifully he takes it. It's the best offer his gotten in a while.   
  
She takes the telegraph machine and puts it out in the main foyer, and that small room becomes Freddy's. She buys a bed and Will helps her move it into the house. She buys a dresser for him as well, and tells him that he can put all of his toys and personal things on top. He only has the clothes on his back, his ice skates, and his mother's locket, with the picture of the two of them in it. Kate offers it to him hesitantly. He inspects it quietly and places it in his pocket. He isn't ready to let go yet, and he doesn't have to be. She pulls him into her arms for the first time since he came to live with her, and Kate thinks that maybe, just maybe, everything will be alright.   
  
The first few weeks are strange. She isn't used to living with anyone else, and he isn't used to being properly cared for. Sometimes they stumble over each other, sometimes they don't speak at all during meal times, sometimes she comes home late to find him already asleep, curled up into a ball on his bed. She doesn't see herself as a mother yet, and she's sure he doesn't see himself as her son. But they'll get there, of that she is sure.   
  
Kate takes him out to buy new clothing, but she has no idea how to shop for boys, so she calls in John. John helps Freddy find some things he likes, and Freddy leaves the shop owning more things than he's ever had in his entire life. He stares at it all with such wonder that Kate feels her chest constrict. She wonders if he'll ever get used to it.  
  
She takes him ice skating on the pond near her house. She watches him slide around on the ice and has to stop herself from going out to get him, to pull him back to safety. Will comes along with them, and stands by her side. She wonders if he's thinking the same thing she is. (Freddy falls and they both move forward as if to catch him, and she knows he is.)  
  
When he wakes up in the middle of the night, screaming, Kate is always there. She hovers over him, ready to pull him into a tight hug. After he's done sobbing into her shoulder, she lifts him up and takes him to her room. He's toeing the line between light enough to lift and too heavy, and she knows soon she won't be able to anymore. They lay together on her bed, him curled up in her arms, and silently she curses every terrible thing done to this boy, ever person that has ever harmed him.  
  
She starts his education almost as soon as she takes him in, and she finds that he can read, just not very well, and his arithmetic and history knowledge is abysmal. She asks the school teacher in town for some extra copies of the beginner's reading aids, short little stories with easy vocabulary and a storyline for him to follow. He devours them all, his voracious appetite only growing and growing. Soon, he is reading her books. Her medical journals, her botanical books, even her Frontier Desperados novellas. When they weather becomes warmer, she takes him on walks through the woods, and he points out all of the plants he has learned, leaving her awestruck and beaming with pride. He takes after you, Will teases, and she can't help but agree.  
  
Will comes over for dinner almost every night, and she gets used to having to cook for three, not just one. She gets Will or Freddy to help her sometimes. On her birthday, she comes home to find dinner already set out on the table, and her two boys standing there, smiling proudly, flour dusting their clothing and cheeks. She smiles widely and hugs them both, delighted to find that the meal is only slightly burnt.

The adoption officially goes through in May, and she is delivered a copy of the adoption papers and Freddy's birth certificate through the mail. She is surprised that she was even allowed to adopt him at all, given that she is an unmarried woman. She figures that it was Phineas, pulling some strings. Maybe it's a last apology, an atonement, perhaps. Either way, Freddy officially becomes her son. That night she takes him to Annalee's and they eat dinner together, and she buys him a barberpole. He says thank you, and ever so quietly calls her mother, and Kate feels her heart fill to bursting. She hugs him and presses a kiss to his forehead.  
  
Kate usually prides herself on remaining neutral during a case. She is able to asses the facts only, to look past the human complications and focus solely on the evidence. That is, until a case in June. A young couple comes to them, asking them to find their son. They look so distraught and frantic that Kate feels a tugging in her chest and a sudden urge to run and find Freddy. She knows he's safe at the Dubois, where Annalee is looking after him for the afternoon, but she still feels it all the same. She and Will do find their son, but not in the way that Kate wanted to. The whole thing was an accident. He had waded out to deep in the lake. He looks so small, so lifeless, and Kate fights back tears at the sight. Will sees her obvious distress and places a hand on her lower back. At the end of the day, she is exhausted and Will tells her to go home to Freddy. She does, and when she sees him she hugs him tightly and cries a little into his shoulder. He asks her what's wrong, but she can't bring herself to speak yet. Instead, she just holds him close and he lets her and he waits until she's ready to explain everything.  
  
A photographer comes into town and offers to take their picture. She allows it, and she dresses up Freddy in his best clothing while she dons her best dress. They stand in front of her house, smiling at the camera. He prints two copies and gives them to her. She frames one and hangs it up on the wall. The other she gives to Freddy to do with it what he wishes. He places it in his drawer for safe keeping.   
  
Will finally kisses her in late September, when the leaves are just starting to turn. She had been wondering when he would. His longing looks and lingering touches are not lost on her. Even Freddy seems to notice, making sure to roll his eyes dramatically whenever he sees it. However, she is occupied when he finally does it, so she doesn't see it coming. She is looking through one of her botanical guides for some plant she had noticed on the side of the road. She wonders whether it had medicinal properties or not. She supposes she could ask Freddy, he would probably know, but he was finishing up schoolwork in the other room and she doesn't want to disturb him. Will, for his part, sits quietly opposite her, nursing a cup of chicory. Finally, she turns to the plant she needs. The Missouri Primrose. She holds the book up excitedly. She begins to announce findings but Will places his cup down and presses his lips to hers, cutting her off. Her eyes widen in shock but after a moment, she lets them slip shut as she leans into the kiss. His beard scratches her face, but she can't find it in herself to mind. 

It is winter again and Allan comes down to see them. He takes to Freddie immediately, delighting in retelling his old war stories to someone who hasn't heard them a million times over. At the end of his trip, he comes to Kate and offers to bring Freddie to Chicago with him for a month. _He's a bright boy_ , Allan says, _he needs to see what the city can offer_. Kate knows that he would love it. He would love the libraries and he would love staying with Allan and Joan, but she felt a pang in her heart at the thought of him leaving, even for a month. In the end, she sits him down and tells him about Allan's offer and he accepts. Kate doesn't let him out of her sight that night, deciding to cook his favorite meal and have him read to her by the wood burning stove until they could no longer keep their eyes open.  
  
She sees him off at the train station two days later, Will at her side, and promises to write to him and send a telegram twice a week. Freddie smiles at her and she can tell that he's both sad and excited at the same time. She reminds herself that it isn't forever, only a few weeks as Freddie boards the train with Allan. He hangs out of the window, waving at them. Kate stands there until the train is out of sight and she feels Will tug on her arm. _Come on, let's go home_ , he says, and she does. She hopes to god that she's made the right decision.   
  
She keeps her promise. She writes and sends telegrams every week. She throws herself into her work and into spending time with Will and she spends too much time staring at the photograph of them on the wall. It is obvious that Will can tell how much she's missing him, but he mercifully bites his tongue. Sometimes Kate finds him staring at the photograph a moment too long, and she wonders if Will sees him as a son, too. She thinks he does, and the month passes slower than any she can remember.  
  
Freddie comes back to Chicago wearing new clothing and toting an extra bag of books. She hops off the train and runs straight into her arms, almost knocking her over. He tells her that he missed her, so much, and she repeats the sentiment with tears in her eyes. When he finally lets go, Will, who has been standing next to her the whole time, ruffles his hair and gives him a short hug before picking up his trunk. Together, they all walk back to her house as Freddie tells them stories of his time away, and Kate feels whole again for the first time in a month.  
  
The one year anniversary of Freddie's mother's death comes and Freddie is quiet all day. She wonders if he's been keeping track of the days, because she sure as hell didn't remind him. After the third one-word response during breakfast, she looks over at Will in worry and he nods. After breakfast he takes Freddie aside and talks to him, and after that Freddie seems a lot happier. She never asks what they talked about, but her mood improves with Freddie's and the day doesn't turn out so terrible after all.

Will asks her to marry him over dinner one night in February as the snow falls softly outside of her window. He glances over at Freddie who gives him an encouraging smile and Kate feels suddenly out of the loop. She doesn't know how to feel about the fact that her partner and her son have conspired to see her married, other than the giddy, over-the-moon feeling of being engaged. She says yes, of course, and Will kisses her deeply while Freddie refrains from making his usual disgusted noises. Afterwards, Kate smiles brightly at both of them and she feels lighter than she can ever remember.

The wedding is simple and quiet and just about perfect for them. Annalee has decorated the Dubois nicely for the occasion and it is empty but for Kate and Will and Freddie and their friends. The ceremony is short but full of feeling and the whole thing is over in a heartbeat. Their kiss at the end leaves Kate's head spinning and the dancing leaves her dizzy to the point where she has to sit down and just watch. She sees Will dancing with his mother and John dancing with Annalee and Allan telling war stories to Kenji and her heart grows full with the sight of it. She doesn't notice Freddie sitting next to her until he taps her shoulder lightly. She turns around to face her, holding out his hand. She takes it and he leads her to the floor in the uninhibited, confident way that only kids are capable of. She's still taller than him so it is a little awkward, but she doesn't care either way.   
  
The wind is bitter cold on their walk home and Kate tries to ignore the wind biting at her cheeks. Instead she focuses on her hand as it rests on her son's shoulder and her arm as it brushes against her husband's. She never really noticed how pretty Kansas City is in the snow, how the moonlight reflects off the mountains of sparkling whiteness as she walks past. She hated Kansas City when she first arrived. She hated its size, she hated its backwards thinking, she hated that she was forced to stay there with a man she could never be prevailed upon to actually like. She smiles a little to herself as she realizes for the first time how much of that has changed. Freddie, who was walking calmly alongside her, suddenly comes to a stop. Kate stops as well and asks him if anything is wrong. Freddie, in response, reaches into his pocket and pulls out a delicate-looking chain with some sort of metal pendant attached. It takes a second for Kate to realize that is it a locket, and furthermore it is Freddie's mother's locket. He holds it out to her and Kate takes it, concern painting her expression. _Open it_ , Freddie says, and she removes her gloves and works the clasp open with trembling fingers. Inside are pictures of her and Freddie from the photograph taken of them all those months ago cut to fit the locket. Her eyes water and she pulls Freddie into a tight hug, kneeling in the snow. Freddie presses his face into her collar and utters a soft _thank you._ A few tears slip free, and she feels Will's hand rest on her back and Freddie's chest against hers and she feels at home in the world for the first time in as long as she can remember.


End file.
